Amanda: I’m gonna remember all the mean things you say when I make your Easter basket!
Cody: Is that a threat?
Amanda: Uhhhhhhh, yeah!!
“Tales of Drunken Vocabulary”
(drunkenly, referring to another drunk, as we drunkenly ate cupcakes…)
YOU HAVE FROSTING ON YOUR FACAAADE!!
“Indulgence”
Me: Whaddya got there babe?
Amanda: Comfort food! I bought chinese food, potato chips and four kinds of ice-cream!
“Negligence”
You know, you should really update my blog more often… you’re missing a lot of opportunities! I’m a very funny person!
“Mastication”
I don’t feel good… I just swallowed that whole egg without chewing.
(walks away like a robot)
“Make It Work”
(grabs laptop charger)
I’m gonna poop and watch Project Runway!
“Flame Bait”
I like the PS3 because it looks nice. The interface is nice, you know? The 360 looks like a Leapfrog…
“Near Miss”
(at work, handing out samples)
I almost tong’ed a lady in the face just now.
It would’ve been better if it was Paula Deen and I was handing out ham.
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